Let me start by saying that I don’t bake. I don’t bake because I don’t enjoy baking. Every so often I’ll get a bug up my butt to try to bake something, and I will earnestly tie on my apron and toil away doing whatever string of precise and boring-ass steps are required. Halfway through I think to myself, “Oh yeah! Baking sucks!!” And then, nine out of ten times, whatever it was I had attempted to make doesn’t rise, or I forgot to set my timer and I have no idea how long it’s been baking and I can’t find a toothpick to check it so I have to…